The second week.

The second week was a hard one for me.  Some of it was my fault some of it wasn't.  So here it is, the good the bad and the ugly.

The good is that despite having a fair amount off plan i was still down 1.5lbs. I didn't do my measurement as doing them once a week feels too much for me. I would rather do them once a month and actually see the results like that.

The bad is that in some regards i failed to plan..so didn't have as many things prepared as i should have and thus was off plan. Also had my license plates stolen so spent way too long running around doing stuff and ended up eating out to much. That's one of the things i am finding limiting with this plan...its all based on eating at home which doesn't always reflect my lifestyle. I do sort of try to follow the balance your plate ideals if i have to eat out. I don't know if it makes a ton of difference but it makes me feel better.

The ugly is that there were two days i didn't even try to be on plan. I got overtired or caught a a bit of a virus or something but the thought of most foods just made my stomach turn. So i ate mostly soup and bland foods and not enough protein but i also didn't eat much so...a rough two days overall.

This week so far is mostly back on track. I'm learning how to make my tweaks to the plan to fit what i need out of food.  Giving up diet coke fully is not something I'm ready for, but only have it twice a week i can do. Little things like that are how I'd going to make this work for me.

My one thing is that this plan doesn't take some things in mind...i will be eating the same amounts of food now and at 100 lbs lost and i imagine my nutrition requirements are going to be a little different then. A breastfeeding woman doesn't get special consideration but a man does.  That makes me feel a bit nervous because if my weight loss stalls or plateaus how to change things to restart thing? When Jussi is extra hungry there isn't much wiggle room for him which leads to  snacking. Maybe this is going to be changed for the full launch. I hope.

Weekend recap

Well first the good news.  Friday morning i did my weigh it and was at 216.  That puts me down 7 lbs this first week which i will take. Yes some is water weight but at least some of that has to be real loss as well. I'm down 2 inches on my belly which, in the realm of too much information, is likely from the fact this eating plan changes how your bowel function for the better.

Friday night was cheat night and date night. We went to a local joint where i had a wrap which was delicious and a good source of protein. For sides, we didn't have anything healthy, we had fries. That turned out to likely be a bad choice.  My system didn't adjust to this change as well as it did to eating well so i had a stomach ache all evening.  Lesson learned - i wont cheat nearly so hard next week.

Saturday we wanted to do some running around and adventure seeking.  We ended up eating out all day but i did make health choices with breakfast being under 600 calories including egg beaters, fresh fruit and controlled portion sizes. Dinner was salad and 2 slices pizza so despite not having enough water and too much sodium, a hop on the scale told me my weight didn't change which was good.  We ended up having a good day even though we never did find adventure.

Today was back on track, so I'm glad for that. Its been a quiet day here of chores and relaxing before the work week starts.  I sent Jussi out to his mom's for the evening so i even have some alone time and was able to prep some healthy lunches for tomorrow.

I'm set for success for  the next week.

A win, a possible fail, and a NSV

So first for the win, yesterday I didn't plan as well as I should have - or rather my plan didn't work out as expected.  I ate the breakfast, lunch and dinner that I planned but for dinner it was pork tenderloin, a slice of wholegrain bread, salad and 2 tsp salad dressing.  Unfortunately, the salad ingredients were mostly lettuce, and other light, non-filling veggies.  Both Jussi and I agreed that dinner was a little too light - in fact, I was still hungry after eating it, waiting, and drinking water and ended up eating so more lettuce, plain, just to fill up.  As a result - we were both in a major snacking mood!  We cleaned, drank tea, and found ways to fill the time until bedtime, and both went to be a little hungry, in order to avoid the snacking.  We didn't give in, and it was nice to have the support of someone else in the same situation as I was, at the same time.  It made the difference for me between success and in the past when I have had failure in the same situation.  Not having him snacking while I was hungry helped me to overcome the urge.

For a fail - today was a bit of a rough day.  Stress, people being grumpy at work, a cold and me failing at realizing what day of the week of it means I missed a meeting I wanted to be at and generally feeling like I failed at adulting today.  Dinner was a better success since I replace the bread with brown rice, and the salad with steamed veggie mix so I felt fuller.  Unfortunately, when I realized my scheduling mistake (too late to do anything about it), I took it hard and turned to my old friend diet coke.  To be fair, I have literally only had about 4 sips out of the glass (and I do mean sips), and noticed its caused a bit of euphoria.  I don't know if that's from allowing myself the comfort of a food based friend, and thus a psychological reaction, or a reaction to the aspartame because artificial sweeteners, despite being well studied, may or may not have side effects.  I consulted dr. google, but found nothing evidence based, then moved onto google scholar, and found nothing conclusive, so I'm undecided if I should finish the yummy glassful sitting beside me.  I'm working mostly on water until I decide.  If I don't decide by bedtime (in 40 mins) then I will make myself throw it out.

For the NSV (or non-scale victory) today, I needed a hole one size smaller on my belt than normal.  Which, is awesome.  I know which way the scale is heading and its positive, I have actually stepped on it and know some early numbers but I will save that for the big reveal on Friday, aka weigh days,  Friday nights, we have pre-decided, is date night, which also means cheat meal night. 

So far, this plan is meaning Jussi and I actually spend more time talking to one another (over dinner, sans TV), and are actually reconnecting.  I hope this continues, especially since now it looks like grocery days are moving to Thursday so Friday we can actually focus on one another.

My day in food

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

The hard part today was two-fold.  It was my day off work so not snacking was hard - I'm so used to grazing all day when I am home, in between tasks.  The fact that I had a two hour wait while the oven cleaner worked (yes, one of todays tasks was the dreaded cleaning of the oven) made it really tempting to graze and snack.  The second one was surrounding dinner - dinner has looked identical to that picture for the past 3 nights, which is healthy, but I'm tired of chicken and sweet potatoes.  I was so wanting to go out for dinner, especially since we had to go out to do 2 errands right before I put the dinner in the oven which was a big trigger for me to just grab something while I am out and about.  Luckily tomorrow is something different, and in the crock pot which means it will be ready and waiting for me when its dinner time.

In terms of successes for today - I mostly cleaned my oven (except the part where I ran out of cleaner in the last little bit so I will need to do a touch up), and Jussi and I completed a 30 minute exercise video on youtube to start to get ourselves moving.

Finished day 2

That's right, I survived the  second day of the taste bud reset.  To be fair, I'm doing an extra day of it just to keep on track with Jussi, who started a day later than me.  He started on our agreed upon date, I just cheated and started a day early, partially because I knew that I was going to need some clues to help me grocery shop, and arrange the program for him.

So, I am following the program to the letter - to the point of weighing out and measuring all of my food.  I am not doing quite the same for him - his fruits and veggies are not as portion controlled because he does physical work all day and the extra nutrition will be good for him.  I am showing him how to portion control the protein and starches though.

So today went better than yesterday - I packed softer foods in my lunch which made chewing them quicker and thus I was able to finish my lunch today.  I struggle this morning with the cottage cheese - it turns out I like it no better than I did last time I tried to lose weight.  And, unlike last time when I was munching on the stuff around lunch time, at 4:30 in the morning, the texture really gets to me.

In case you couldn't tell, I have texture issues.  I don't like wet mushy thick foods.  Like yogurt, pudding, cottage cheese, oatmeal.  I have committed to trying the foods I don't think I like and even to giving them a bunch of tastes over time to see if I can teach myself to like them, or at least tolerate them.  I can't make any promises however.

I am loving how pretty my meals look - so many colours.

My biggest struggle is two-fold.  The no snacking, and my personally imposed added sugar detox.  Oh, I'm allowed added sugars, but I am choosing not to have them because they are a trigger food for me, and right now, that means I'm craving my usual after dinner snack - something sweet, most likely baked like cake.  That's my biggest problem right now, and that I know I can overcome, since I have done it before,

Starting measurements

Yesterday was the day to get starting measurements and weights.  That was eye opening.  First of all the weight - 223.  That was higher than I expected.  The second thing was to see myself , honestly, in pictures were I wasn't dressing to flatter my figure or hide my sins.  I didn't realize that I had back fat, let along how much of it I had.

This is me, in all of my lack of glory.  I am so not impressed.

I post these pictures but know that I feel bad about looking this way.  Not because I need to fit some idea of idealized beauty but rather because I know what this means health wise for me, as if the doctors news the other day wasn't clear enough.  I haven't done any of the metrics like a BMI calculation because I am just not ready to know about it at all.

This morning I got up at 4:30 to make lunch and eat breakfast.  First this program involves a lot of food.  Especially at 4:30am it felt overwhelming.  3 hours later I was still full which was a good thing but eating all of it was hard.  I ended up throwing out the last bite of egg and a slice of orange simply because I couldn't eat it all.  I don't think it would have been as bad if I started work at a later hour but when my shifts all start at 6 am, it felt like too much to face down before I or my stomach had truly woken up.

By the time my second break arrived, about 5ish hours later, I was just starting to get hungry so timing of meals suggested in the plan is accurate.  Again I struggled to eat all of the food, especially in a 15 minute break.  Tomorrow, I am going to try to bring some things which are softer in hopes that I can eat them faster and with less chewing. 

After work, I did groceries and that is where my timing got screwed up - my second break was about an hour earlier than normal and dinner was later than normal because I had to buy the ingredients than cook it.  Yes, I could have microwaved the baked sweet potatoes to make them cook faster but I find that changes the texture so I stuck with the old fashioned way - and this is where I go off plan a bit.  I don't use my microwave as much as suggested even though it would get dinner on the table faster.  Mine, for one, is no where near powerful enough to cut enough time off for me, and it is so small a lot of bowls, steamers and even regular plates don't fit in it.  Right now, if I made any of the recipes suggested, I would just miss out on the handfuls of chocolate, cookies and junk I am used to so better to avoid it at all.  I know myself well enough to know it would only trigger me to binge.

To make tomorrow easier, especially in the morning, I have tomorrows breakfast and lunch all portioned and weighed out, so I should be able to sit down and actually enjoy it.

In the beginning...

The kit arrived just 2 days ago, and like a little kid, I tore into the boxes, eager to find what was inside.  Even though I already knew what was coming.  I ripped into the new spices to smell and sample, and opened everything because I am curious kind of a person.

This is in direct contrast to how I am feeling about this plan right now.  Because, you see, the guide arrived in my email earlier than the kit so I read it all in one sitting, nerves growing with every page.  Its not that the plan is hard looking - I guess it makes sense from a nutrition perspective.  It is that it is so foreign from how I currently eat that is making me nervous.  Yes everything can be customized and there is a list of things you can trade for if you see something you don't like.  But I am reading the recipes and seeing things my brain goes "no" to.  Oatmeal? yuck. yogurt? double yuck. quinoa? never tried it by itself but I'm pretty sure I don't like it (and yes, I recognize that this is an absurd statement). cottage cheese? no thanks. healthy foods? bring back my boxed mac and cheese please.

Now, I know the way I eat isn't healthy - too much fat, too many carbs, way to much processed and ultra processed and brown or white foods.  I know this all to well, and its not that I don't like fruits and veggies, cause I do, I just got away from eating them.  And I know that I need to change.  I just didn't know how much I needed to do so and how urgently.

See, yesterday the doctor called me in regarding the results of some tests I had last month.  And the answers weren't good.  A specialist is being added into the mix but basically...I need to change, I need to change now and the world just gave me a massive swift kick in the ass with a healthy dose of fear to make me really commit to this.

So foreign healthy food, here I come.  I'm going to try this, and well...heres looking at you 2016 as the year I finally change for good.